Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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