Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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