Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
