im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
