I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
