I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize