lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
