Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My bed smells like the plague
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