it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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