matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
