I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
