so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
