My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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