Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
