I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
