Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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