I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize