He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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