Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize