Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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