Banned from zoo.
Again?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize