why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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