Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
