Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize