The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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