im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
