nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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