I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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