babies were throwing up all over the place
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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