I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tornado booty call.. dedication
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
