LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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