My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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