I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You smell like stripper and shame
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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