I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
organizing the empties. That sober.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
