He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
