Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
