If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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