I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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