Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
