I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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