Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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