I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
