My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize