Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
