Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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