Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
