im drinking this country out of the recession.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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