LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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