if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
