The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
