I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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