it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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