Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
