i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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