in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
