so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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