I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
