I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
