the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
