I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
