"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
