He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
