Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
